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Surviving Your Divorce – Questions and Steps 

Here are some things you can think about to help you focus during your divorce and tips to help you make it through as easily as possible.

First, reflect:

  1. How did I get here? What do I need? Who can help me?
  2. What are my greatest concerns?
  3. How will my children be affected?
  4. How can I limit the damage to myself and my children?
  5. How can I maintain calm for myself and my children?

Then, some action items.

  1. Make a list of all assets and debts you are aware of.
  2. Note how titles are held on your real estate, mortgages, cars, and debts.
  3. Create a list of all back accounts, credit cards, retirement accounts, life insurance, safe deposit boxes, valuable art, furnishings, jewelry, etc.
  4. Gather insurance policies and birth certificates.
  5. Find a therapist for you and your children.
  6. Notify your children’s school of what is happening at home and seek support for your children.
  7. If possible, bring friend and family support systems closer together.
  8. Make an appointment to see an experienced matrimonial attorney.  There are many options and nuances to moving forward in a divorce that require thoughtful preparation and expert guidance.
  9. Be realistic in your expectation of divorce and the legal system.  The divorce action is not a means to air or resolve your marital and emotional issues.  The courts will not engage in that behavior.  Failure to be realistic will cause you to spend unnecessary legal expenses.  The Court’s role is limited, and it will only benefit you to keep your conduct and expectations within those confines.

This is not to be considered legal advice.  Please reach out to an attorney for information regarding your specific situation.

Michele P. Ellerin is a Partner concentrating in matrimonial and family law.
She can be reached by phone at 845-764-9656 or by email.

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